This is Tranya. I Hope You Relish It as Much as I.

So we have this happen:

North Korea Backs Off Guam Missile-Attack Threat

SEOUL—North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has decided not to launch a threatened missile attack on Guam, Pyongyang’s state media reported on Tuesday, but warned that he could change his mind “if the Yankees persist in their extremely dangerous reckless actions.”

And you know, I've seen this episode.

I've felt for a while that we needed more Kirk and less... not-Kirk.

Twilight Struggle: Playing the "Syrian Re-alignment" Card

Card Instructions: Red: Remove all U.S. Influence from Syria and Place Enough Soviet Influence in Syria for Control.

If you haven't played Twilight Struggle and are interested in the Cold War, go get a copy now.  I'll wait...

Now, I'm as big a "Team America: World Police" booster as there is.  Nationalistic pride and cool boomstick stockpiling aside, I really do think that the world is a much more dangerous place without Pax Americana.

But... Syria?  I find myself hard-pressed to care if Putin is sending a few An-124s full of vodka-soaked soldiers, technicians, and batteries of SAMs to prop up Assad the Chinless for another decade.  The rest of the region?  Well, I wanted to believe that the clarion call for liberty and democracy beat strong and hot in the breasts of the groaning masses of the Middle East - hell, I did believe it - but the data are in, and the data clearly show I was wrong: that beat is not strong (nor is their spine the bassline).  At best it beats in few enough of them that they're better off taking those breasts somewhere not in the Middle East and letting the place rot.

Besides, what the hell are good breasts going to do in the Middle East?  Sooner or later some jihadi is going to come along and just cover them up or saw them off anyway.

Short-sighted of me?  Maybe.  But we tried it my way for a while - why not try something different in that region for the next while?

Maybe it's a Blue card after all...

"No Matter Where You Go, There You Are"

I kinda wanted to vent about Obama ensuring that our secondary enemy Iran becomes a regional power capable of threatening our real ally Israel, or our allies of convenience like Saudi Arabia, Jordan, etc., and really, us. Here a link.

Then I sorta wanted to go ballistic about Planned Parenthood selling killed baby parts.  You know, for SCIENCE!  And PROFIT! There a link.

But as I gathered my spleen for a spew that at least 5 people would read, I ran across an article about a guy who flew from Pennsylvania to Arizona to have sex with miniature horses and have them pee on his shirts for getting-off-later funtimes. Holy-crap-hopefully-not-everywhere-a-link-link.

So... Umm...

Fuck it.  I'm making myself a cocktail.

Syria-lessly

I'm a pretty Hawky, World Policeman kind of guy. And I won't cry if Assad the Chinless slips on a bar of "oh shit I'm an evil, murderous dictator and it finally caught up with me" in the shower and snuffs it.

The problem with this Syria thing isn't that they aren't a threat to our national interests, nor is it that someone uncorked some death gel. The problem isn't that we might knock somebody's block off or fire a few Tomahawks at now-abandoned airfields.

The problem, as I see it, is that no matter what we do or don't do, and for whatever reasons really smart guys say we should or should not do it, Obama will still be El Presidente afterwards. So bad idea or good idea, Obama will make it turn out badly for this country and bad for the West. I don't see it as much more complicated than that.

Obama... In... SPAAAAAAAACE!

So I'll raise the topic of Obama getting caught with Russia's dangly bits in his mouth.

Obama begs Russia to wait for actual penetration until after the wedding.

"On all these issues, but particularly missile defense, this can be solved, but it’s important for him to give me space,” Mr. Obama could be heard saying to Mr. Medvedev, according a reporter from ABC News, who was traveling with the president.

“Yeah, I understand,” Mr. Medvedev, the outgoing Russian president, said. “I understand your message about space. Space for you …”

I'm glad some folks are still saying there's no difference between Obama and Romney, Dems and Repubs. After all, why would anyone want a president who actually pushed for American interests in office, as opposed to the interests of our long-term opposition in the world?

He Must'a Thought It Was White Boy Day

But it ain't white boy day.

One more dickhead shuffled off. Only a few thou more to go.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

No, seriously, Nobel Peace Prize Winner in Chief has sent a few sticks of "advisors" into Uganda. To help our stalwart Ugandan allies do ...

something or other, I'm sure.

Lefties, Thy Name is Mud

'Tis wondering strange.

A few years ago, when we attacked Iraq after almost a year of prep and prop and primp, AND a Congressional smiley face sticker, my lefty friends couldn't let a game night go by without bracing me on the topic and forcing me to give an opinion or defense on every news blurb and event they could parrot.

But now, after Chimpy McObamaHitler has attacked little Libya with no warning, whining, or waiting, they are silent on the topic. And I know that if I were to go out of my way to bring it up with my most opinionated friend, I'd get an instant roar of emotional white noise in response, and who needs that when we're trying to manage a 4 to 6 player game quickly and efficiently?

It's almost as if their politics are more driven by the man behind the plan than the plan itself.

"WA-

R!"

Libya? Really? We're stacking mission hours and writing up Raytheon P.O.s because of Libya?

I thought a "rush to war" was bad?

Just checking...

Now that its been a few years, does anyone* really miss Saddam Hussein?


*Anyone worth a shit, I mean.

And the Nobel Prize for Really Really Wanting Peace And Talking About It A Whole Heck Of A Lot Goes To...

Oh for chrissake.... really? SheeeEEEeeit.

Updated to add this: Apparently you can win the Nobel Peace Prize by talking about peace while fighting two wars. That's like winning the Nobel for Medicine while dumping anthrax into the ventilation system at an orphanage.

Obama Foreign Policy 101

Hey England:

"Fuck You."

Yo, Israel:

"Go to hell."

Howdy Honduras:

"Your Constitution? Hell's Bells, buddy, I barely even understand my own. But by the way, Up Yours!"

Listen, Iranian People:

"Get away from me, kid, you bother me."

And Poland:

"Hey, did I wake you?"

But Russia:

"You'll respect me in the morning, right?"