How Long is a Piece of Rope?

I coined a new phrase concept, at least new to me, the other day whilst discussing the 100 sci fi books list a few posts below.

There is a style of fantasy writing that is very popular that I simply cannot stand. Members of it include Game of Thrones, Circle of Time, the Feist stuff I commented about, and no-doubt innumerable others. They rarely are less than 10 books per series, with each book around 600 pages or so, and never seem to have an end in mind. The stories themselves are rarely driven by a plot, instead relying on richly-drawn character lines woven together into some sort of coherent whole that seems to be headed somewhere but is never in a hurry to arrive.

In short, rope. I don't like rope stories.

These books also seem to confuse "complexity" with "fun to read". I don't need to know how many nails are holding together a senator's chair to know he's got influence, nor do I need to follow every meal and every scolding of "the youth" to know what he's like as "the hero".

These kinds of books also seem to revel in constructing real hellscapes for the characters to run around in, full of tragic and flawed losers that fail and die off every other chapter or so.

Yay fun.

Anyway, it's just personal taste and nothing more, but, yeah.

Rope. Don't like reading it.

Full Geek Ahead!

Oh, all right. :) (Ones I've read or am reading bolded. Ones I started and never intend to finish starred. My personal comments italicized.)

1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien (Once every year or so)
2. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
3. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card
*4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert (Read the first one. Boooooooooring,)
*5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin (read the first one. Is he kidding?)
6. 1984, by George Orwell
7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury (on my shelf, embarrassingly never read. I'm just not a Bradley guy.)
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov
9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman
11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman
12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan (Dear lord, no.)
13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell
14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson (snoozer. Put it down with the last page unread, never picked it up again. I assume something awful happened.)
15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore ("Rorshach threw him down an elevator shaft.")
16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov
17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein
18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss (huh?)
19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley
21. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick
22. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood
23. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King
24. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke
25. The Stand, by Stephen King
26. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
27. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury
28. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut
29. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman
30. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
31. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein
32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams
33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey
34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein
35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller
36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells
37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne
38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys
39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells
40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny
41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings
42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson
44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven
45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin
46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien (I'll be in my bunk.)
47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White
48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman
49. Childhood's End, by Arthur C. Clarke
50. Contact, by Carl Sagan
51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons
52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman
53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson
54. World War Z, by Max Brooks
55. The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle
56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman
57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett
58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson (the first 3 were bearable. The second 3...)
59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold
60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett
61. The Mote In God's Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind
63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
64. Jonathan Strange, Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson
*66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist (first couple, if this is the one with tree-Elves and a thousand characters)
67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks (Fuck Terry Brooks and his jerk-off ripoff "Sword of the Rings" asswipe substitute.)
68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard
69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb
70. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson
72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne
73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore
74. Old Man's War, by John Scalzi
75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson
76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke
77. The Kushiel's Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey
78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin
79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury
80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson
82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde
83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks
84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart
85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson
86. The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher
87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe
88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn (Would've been nice if he'd've bothered to see the movies first.)
89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldan
90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock (Blood and souls for my -- Oh, just whatever.)
91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury
92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley
93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge
94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov
*95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson
96. Lucifer's Hammer, by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle
97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis
98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville
99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony
100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis

Vrooooooooom!

C'mon people, seriously. You can't see the guy on the big black motorcycle twenty feet away from your windshield? What do I have to do, put a rotating light on top of my helmet?

I mean, really.