Thursday, August 20, 2009

Things I Only Need 1 Of

Here is a list of things that I only need one of (YMMV):

Sunglasses. Why would you need more than one pair at a time? Do you coordinate them with your shoes? (You effete snob)

Watches. I guess you have two wrists, but you'd look like an ass wearing more than one watch at a time. Why own more than one at a time? (See above parenthetical remark re: Sunglasses, twinkletoes.)

Dress Shoes. I'll stretch this to two pairs. More than two pairs of dress shoes starts to feel excessive. Nobody is looking at your feet, anyway.

Cell phones. This one baffles me. Why does you need two cell phones clipped to your waistband? You are not Batman. You don't need a utility belt. Explore the freedom offered by call forwarding.

Anything else you only need 1 of? Answer in the comments.


Lissa said...

Sunglasses: What if you break them? Always keep a spare in the car or (if you're on vacation) in your suitcase.

Watches: One plastic digital one for the gym, one nice-looking metal one for work.

Dress shoes: I've got six pairs of stilettos under my desk and a seventh pair on my feet. I guess I flunk this category as well.

Cell phone: Ha! Only one cell phone! I win after all!

Atom Smasher said...

Chicks + Shoes = I don't get it. But I guess I don't need to.

Jake (formerly Riposte3) said...

Why does you need two cell phones clipped to your waistband? [...] Explore the freedom offered by call forwarding.

Usually, one's paid for by a person's employer, and the other one is personal. You don't want to forward work calls to your personal phone, because it uses your minutes, and your employer doesn't want you using the work phone for personal calls because it uses the minutes they're paying for.

Watches. [...] Why own more than one at a time?

I do, but that's because I collect mechanical pocket watches. I'll wear a pocket watch for formal/business attire (daily, at work), and my (only) wristwatch for casual/EMS attire (weekends and after work). The wristwatch was chosen for durability, certain specific features, and cost, and isn't really appropriate for business attire.
I would argue that most men might need two watches - one regular watch for everyday wear, and one dress watch for church/funerals/job interviews/etc.

Dress shoes: One pair black, one pair oxblood. That's all most men should need.

Sunglasses: I'll agree with that one. A spare pair might be nice, but chances are they'll be 100 miles away when your main pair breaks, and you'll have to buy new ones anyway.

doubletrouble said...

Male: 1 pair of dress shoes.
Female: as many as they want (thank GOD Lissa has the right idea).

Sunglasses: I have two- thought I lost the first pair, bought another, found the first ones- otherwise, no.

But, I only have 1/2 a cell phone, as the wife has the one, so...

Ed Rasimus said...

I'll note that I keep a couple of pair of sunglasses--that's because I never go outside without them. And, I'm semi-retired and no one ever calls me, so I do quite nicely with one cellphone. And a Rolex is adequate for business/formal and durable enough for sport and exposure.

But, your premise is a bit flawed. We generally don't buy more than one because we MUST--we do it because we CAN. Think of having more than one camera, for instance. Or, maybe a subject closer to our hearts:

Who needs more than one AR? More than one 1911?

MeatAxe said...

Brother Ed,

It grieves me to take issue (however minor) with a tiny aspect of your comment. These are things that _I_ only need one of, and I say right at the top YMMV, which is shorthand for Your Mileage May Vary. I did add some snarky commentary, though.

As to the rest of it, you are right. Need doesn't really enter into it.

We do what we want with our own money and someone else's opinion (such as mine) shouldn't be interpreted as an argument for restricting your right to festoon yourself with sunglasses and cellphones.

Thanks for reading!

MeatAxe said...


Good point about the minutes. With any luck a service like Google Voice could eliminate some of this, but your point is a good one.

Post a Comment