Thursday, October 15, 2009

You Can't Be An Internet Gun Nut Unless...

You know this here stuff:

Only One/Glock 40 Video 
This is the famous video of the DEA agent shooting himself in the leg with the very pistol he claimed nobody else in the room was professional enough to carry. The video is the ultimate source (as far as I know) of the "Only Ones" formula which usually appears somewhere near any blog post relating dumb/selfish/or criminal behavior by police officers.

I've used it myself, when describing a cop who shot a guy in court over some traffic tickets. (We're the Only Ones Batshit Crazy Enough...) but David Codrea of the excellent War On Guns blog is the Imperial Grand Champion of the "Only Ones" meme.

Mall Ninja
A reasonable man might question the sense of equipping mall security guards with Level 2 body armor. And if a mall security guard suggested duct-taping a trauma plate to said body armor due to fears of repeated hits with .308 ammo, a reasonable man might also suggest shopping or working somewhere else.

But reason and logic played no role in the birth of the Mall Ninja. The OP, Gecko45, wondered not only if his duct-taped trauma plate would be enough protection, but also posted his mall-security wish list that included a PSG-1 rifle (with starlight scope), Glock 27 backup guns, and Kahr P-9s. If he'd been working at the Galleria of Fallujah, (he wasn't) his list might have made sense. Instead of the respect he demanded, his reward was the dubious honor of being forever known as the first Mall Ninja.

The thread is saved for all eternity at the Shrine of the Mall Ninja.

If you ever see anyone mention a "tactical wheelbarrow," threaten to poison the water supply, claim that the ultimate defensive rifle is a silenced AR in .22lr with a 10-inch barrel, or advocate the use of a debarked chihuahua as a guard dog, they are making an homage to John Melvin Davis, AKA Gunkid, the most infamous troll of internet gun-dom.

Gunkid did all those things, and more. Banned over and over again from any gunny board you can think of, he just kept coming back until finally arrested by the Feds for stealing guns, ammo and other valuables from his estranged ex-wife. For more, just google "gunkid" or read how Xavier and Lawdog memorialized him.

Anyone got any more? Please post them in the comments.


Anonymous said...

Don't forget this guy:

Recently some mook mentioned "CCW Badge" and I just lost my shit!

Funny stuff thar!

Anonymous said...

I have a CCW badge.
It hangs on my belt under my jacket, is reachable with my primary hand...
and shoots 9mm ammo.
That, (and regrettably the little piece of plastic in my wallet,) is the only CCW BADGE I need.

I have seen those badges while looking for a good holster a couple weeks ago. Stupid. At least in my state we are informed we are NOT auxiliary law enforcement. Wearing a "Badge" seems like a good way to screw up concealed carry.

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