Things I Didn't Know You Could Do

Here is a list of things I didn't know a human being could do.

1) Punch yourself unconscious.

2) Run yourself over.

3) Lock a padlock around your testicles.

4) Shoot yourself in the head with a .357 magnum. Twice.

5) Eat a glass crack pipe.

6) Launch a bottle rocket out of your rectum.

7) Nail your scrotum to a work bench.

Source: Emergency Medicine Staff Message Board. Note: finding the specific posts that contributed to this list is left as an exercise for the Dutiful Reader.