Saturday, March 21, 2009

Soap Opera Galactica ist Kaput: Here There Be Spoilers!

Oh, I feel so, so sorry for the poor duped fans of this emofest. I really do.

I really liked the miniseries premier, much to my surprise - I thought it was really, really good. A few episodes in, though, I "got it" and lost interest.

Things I can't do/don't do/haven't done in Real Life:

1) Fly a space ship.
2) Shoot Bad Guys.
3) Explore space.
4) Have adventures.

Things I can do/do do/have done in Real Life:

1) Cry.
2) Fuck people I shouldn't.
3) Lie.
4) Be betrayed.
5) Lose hope.

I watch scifi TV shows for escapism and entertainment, not for journal entries. So over the last 4 or so seasons I've caught a few minutes here, a few minutes there, and read up on the status of the show on a cool geeky Modeling forum I haunt,
Starship Modeler.

As it happens I caught the last 30 minutes or so of the finale last night, and I was literally laughing. Five years of "they are us" and "dark is real" and "they have a plan" and "you want silly fun go watch Star Trek" and what's the wrapper? A FIVE YEAR STAR TREK EPISODE. It's Q pulling the rug from under Picard; it's Trelane getting called to dinner by his glowy sky-parents; it's also Pam waking up and finding Bobby in the shower with bits of Women of the Prehistoric Planet and The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag.

Seriously, a "My work here is done" - POOF! sendoff? A devil and an angel ruminating on whether the current iteration of a complex systems test is going to somehow be different? The whole tangled thing is just a god experiment that shuffles a pile of people parts from solar system to solar system every 150,000 years? Is the Frank Herbert estate going to sue?

So all the blood, sweat, tears, angst, mystery and misanthropy of the whole show means nothing because none of the creatures had free will anyway. Lab rats with a moving maze is all they were.


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