Monday, December 29, 2008

Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Wingnuts of Russia

All the guys who stockpiled ammo, food and supplies are about to be proved right.

Not only is the US economy disintegrating, by 2010 the entire country will break into 6 states, we'll have another civil war and the Russians will invade to take back Alaska.

At least, that's what Igor Panarin says. Panarin has been predicting the collapse of the United States for years, but he really means it now, and he's become staggeringly popular in Russia these days. Here's an excerpt from a WSJ piece:
[Panarin] predicts that economic, financial and demographic trends will provoke a political and social crisis in the U.S. When the going gets tough, he says, wealthier states will withhold funds from the federal government and effectively secede from the union. Social unrest up to and including a civil war will follow. The U.S. will then split along ethnic lines, and foreign powers will move in.

California will form the nucleus of what he calls "The Californian Republic," and will be part of China or under Chinese influence. Texas will be the heart of "The Texas Republic," a cluster of states that will go to Mexico or fall under Mexican influence. Washington, D.C., and New York will be part of an "Atlantic America" that may join the European Union. Canada will grab a group of Northern states Prof. Panarin calls "The Central North American Republic." Hawaii, he suggests, will be a protectorate of Japan or China, and Alaska will be subsumed into Russia.

"It would be reasonable for Russia to lay claim to Alaska; it was part of the Russian Empire for a long time." A framed satellite image of the Bering Strait that separates Alaska from Russia like a thread hangs from his office wall. "It's not there for no reason," he says with a sly grin.

Panarin, a charter member of the International Wingnut Alliance, has been peddling his pet catstrophe theory since the 1990s. It didn't scare anyone then, and it shouldn't scare anyone now.

But we should be asking why Igor (when he's not lining his hat with tinfoil) is on Russian State Television so much.

The answer is pretty clear: more worrying evidence that the Russian government is taking a strong anti-American position.

To which I respond. "You want Alaska? Come and get it, assholes."

PS. There is an opportunity here for a Sarah Palin joke in comments.

I know this and am ready for it, but I want you to know that the bar is offically set high. The usual "Well, Sarah would finally to use all her experience dealing with the Russians," will not cut it.


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